The BIG Three

In our search for happiness there are  whole slew of factors that we can take into account -- health, relationships, work, attitude, environment, religion, and many more. But what if you just want the quick and easy, Cliff's Notes version of happiness? Simple: Start with three questions:

1) What do I want to do?

2) Who do I want to do it with?

3) Where do I want to do it?

If you can come up with clear and comprehensive answers to these three questions, you are well on your way to creating a fulfilling, exciting, happy life.

1) What do you want to do? First and foremost, this question gets at your vocation, your calling in life. What makes your heart sing? What sets your soul on fire? It's probably best not to answer this question with a job title or traditional career name. "I want to be an architect," is not enough. What do you really love to do? What actions, activities, behaviors, etc. do you find both challenging and fulfilling? Carry this beyond work and into all of your life. Make your bucket list. What do you want to do before you die? What mountains (literal or metaphorical) do you want to climb? What things would you like to do just for the hell of it? Brainstorm the entire spectrum from the most sublime to the most ridiculous. Then, make sure that you do at least some of the things you love to do each day. And begin to design your life so that you can add more and more of these activities on a day-to-day basis.

2) Who do you want to do it with? Who do you want to spend your minutes, hours and days with? Family (maybe), friends, spouses, partners, lovers, colleagues -- who are the people around whom you feel most energized and alive? If your days are spent filled with people who don't make your preferred companions list, time to get busy re-designing your life to include more and more of the people who are most important to you. And, of course, remember to stay open to the fantastic new people who are just waiting to enter your world!

3) Where do you want to do it? Where in the world do you want to live? In what type of climate, environs, ecosystem, etc. do you feel most supported? In what kind of mini-environment do you want to work? What type of workspace gives you the best opportunity to be all that you can be, and have fun doing it?

By exploring and answering The BIG Three, you are looking at the holy trinity of happiness factors -- work, relationships and environment. Many of us spend more time working than any other single activity in our lives, with the possible exception of sleeping. If you're not happy in your work, you will not have an overall happy life. Period. 

More and more scientific studies and surveys are discovering that relationships are the single most important component of happiness. If you do not have enjoyable, interesting, loving relationships, even if you like your work, you will not be truly happy. 

Finally, environment can impact your happiness, like it or not. If you are stressed by the noise, pollution, dirt, bad weather, etc. in your environment then it's much harder to feel relaxed and happy. Your environment may never be perfect, and attempting to make it so may even be counterproductive, but you can make it better simply by the choices you make. 

So, here's a great way to end 2009 -- do a Happiness Audit. Ask yourself The BIG Three. Write down your answers. Then begin to brainstorm a list of possible actions you can take in 2010 to do more of what you love, spend more time with people you love, and create and discover more environments that you love. Post the list on your refrigerator, above your desk, or in another location where it is readily visible, and add to it whenever a new idea pops into your head. There it is, right before your very eyes -- your simple blueprint to a fantastically happy new year!