Happiness Rituals

Athletes have performance rituals, musicians have pre-performance rituals, churches have ceremonial rituals, so why shouldn't you have Happiness Rituals? Tal Ben-Shahar, author of Happier, thinks you, me, and all God's children should.  Ben-Shahar defines a Happiness Ritual as any repetitive act that makes you happier -- happier both in the moment and in the long term. So, eating a whole chocolate cake, consuming an entire 12 pack of Bud, or any other sort of over-indulgence is not quite what he has in mind.

What he does have in mind are things like yoga, walking, meditation, journaling, a date with your spouse or partner once a week, etc. Things that may require a bit of effort at first but which produce positive results almost immediately, and on an ongoing basis. To make the activity into a ritual, though, you must do it on a regular basis for at least 30 days. That's how long psychologists tell us it take to create habit. And a Happiness Ritual is nothing more than a consciously chosen happiness habit.

We also have what we might call "unhappiness rituals" or "unhappiness habits," as well. These aren't addictions, but rather actions we continue to do, almost unconsciously, which actually sap, rather than nourish, our happiness. Things like mindlessly surfing the Internet, gossiping, watching way too much TV, and any other activity that we undertake too frequently and that leaves us feeling dulled or drained rather than energized qualifies as an unhappiness ritual.

You can increase your happiness substantially simply by increasing your Happiness Rituals and decreasing your unhappiness rituals. You don't have to change jobs or spouses, you don't have to move to a new house, state or continent, and you certainly don't have to reinvent yourself! You simply need to undertake small, simple acts that make you happy, and give up doing mindless stuff that no longer serves you.

Start small. Choose one, or at the most two, Happiness Rituals to add to your life. Have fun with them, but also take them seriously. Do the act, or acts, regularly for at least a month. Also choose one unhappiness ritual to jettison from your life. Just quit it cold turkey. Don't do it for at least a month and automatically the time you used to waste on it will be filled with something else, hopefully something more positive.

Don't know what to choose? Ask yourself two questions:

* What one thing, if I did it on a regular basis, would most improve my life?

* What one thing I do now, that if I quit doing it, would definitely improve my life?

Answer the questions. Operationalize the answers. And enjoy your new found happiness!