Four Simple Things

Most happiness researchers come from either psychological, philosophical, or sociological points of view. Jennifer Michael Hecht, author of The Happiness Myth, is different in that she approaches happiness from the perspective of history. She looks at what ancient philosophers and past cultures thought and taught about happiness. What she has found is that there are four common doctrines in all happiness theory. Here they are:

1) Know yourself. Happiness is not a one-size-fits-all phenomena. The specific actions, interactions and activities that make you happy may leave me cold. The better you know yourself, the easier it is to be happy. That means not automatically following the crowd, not doing something just because your friends or family think you should, but doing what really makes your own, little, pea-picking heart sing! (Extra bonus points if you know who popularized the phrase "pea-picking heart"). It is your uniqueness that elicits your greatest happiness. To experience Max Hap, you must know what your individual preferences, priorities, and predilections are.

2) Control your desires. Oh, damn, now happiness is starting to sound like hard work! Not really. Just don't mistake over-indulgence for happiness. Don't let every friggin' desire that shows up on the radar screen of your mind lead you around by the nose, or other bodily organ. 

You don't have to wear a loin cloth, live in a cave, and eat stems and seeds to control your desires. You just need some priorities. Choose which desires to fulfill and which ones to take a pass on. Even indulgence is OK, as long as you consciously decide what, when and where to indulge, and don't let your fulfillment of certain desires screw up the rest of your life.

3) Take what's yours. We are all given certain strengths, qualities, and genetic endowments. Whatever your positive characteristics and advantages are, take optimal advantage of them. Take all gift horses that come your way, even without a full dental exam. Play the cards you're dealt, the roles that nature or fate assigns you, and make the best of the life you've been given. Happiness isn't always about getting what you want; sometimes it's about wanting what you get.

4) Remember death. Yeah, now there's a cheery thought! It may not seem like it at first blush, but when it comes to happiness, death is one of your most trusted advisers. Remember death each day, and you're much less likely to waste the new 24 hours you've been given. And the fact that you don't know exactly how much time you have before the old Grim Reaper glides up and taps you on the shoulder, only means that you better make the best of this day, this hour, this moment, right here, right now. There's no such thing as future happiness. Jennifer Michael Hecht's rule of thumb is: Don't live each day like it's your last, live each day as you wish you'd lived yesterday. That, too is learning from history, personal history.

Four things. You can remember, and even do, four things. No sweat. Know yourself, control your desires, take what's yours, and remember death. Do those four and most of the usual barriers to happiness are removed. What's left? You, happy. And ... your beautiful, million watt smile!