Happiness As By-Product

"Happiness is not achieved by the conscious pursuit of happiness," opines novelist and essayist Aldous Huxley, "it is generally the by-product of other activities." In other words, chase happiness and it retreats from you; undertake certain other activities, though, and happiness will come unbidden in secret moments and in unexpected ways. Such is the major tenet of the Happiness As By-Product school of thought. Better to attract happiness than pursue it. Or as author  Ernie Zelinski says, "The desperate pursuit of happiness is one of the chief causes of unhappiness."

OK, but what "specific activities" will call forth happiness? Different activities for each of us. Or as Sly & The Family Stone so wisely sang, "different strokes for different folks."  Here, at least, are a few hints.

One, the activities that produce the most happiness are the activities you love. Duh! Sounds completely obvious, doesn't it? Why then do we continue to makes excuses for not doing them? Why do we guilt-trip ourselves when we do do them? Why don't we fill our lives day in and day out with activities that we love? Anyone? anyone?

The second type of activity that has good chance of producing happiness is helping others. OK, you may not love taking old Aunt Clara to the proctologist for the umpteenth time, but in helping her out, you might just receive a little unexpected buzz of happiness. The key is to undertake the activity with as little resentment and as much good cheer as possible. Give happiness a platform on which to build and you may be surprised by its fanciful creations!

The third happiness-inducing activity is something meaningful. What's meaningful? Again, that's up to you to decide. You are the meaning-maker of your own life. So, if you think saving the Yellow-Bellied Sap Sucker is meaningful, then involving yourself in things that help that little sucker survive will more than likely make you happy. One caveat, though, your meaning has to come from what you are for, not from what you are against. Being against something usually produce much more animosity and suffering than it does gladness or joy.

Finally, activities you just plain have to do can produce happiness. Huh? Though it may defy common sense, must-to's and have-to's can indeed be a source of happiness. The trick is in finding a cool, fun, energizing way to do them. When my daughters were young, they weren't exactly fond of cleaning their rooms. Yelling and threatening, the frustrated parent's strategy of choice, produced little happiness for any of us. But playing music they loved, dancing, making it into a game, even Dad pitching in, all made a usually contentious activity downright enjoyable. Your challenge is to tackle your duties in new and creative ways, and let happiness ensue.

What if the happiness you are looking for in your life is actually looking for you? What if paradox is happiness' operating principle? Chase it, it runs; go on about your life, and, don't worry, it will find you. This is an hypothesis that's easy to test. When it comes to happiness, forget about it!